I’ve had a bit of a rough time of it lately. I’ve lost many friends whilst also finding friends that I didn’t know were there or just didn’t realise I had. I’ve been struggling to keep up to date with all of my final GCSE exams and do all my work at home too. Overall, I’ve had a pretty stressful time.
I haven’t been dealing with this well at all and I have been the lowest mentally that I have ever been. I have been upset most days and even the smallest things will upset me. I’ve also been having a lot more panic attacks recently. This has caused me to be a lot more stressed out and generally unhappy.
I realise now that I have taken a lot of my frustration out on the people trying to help me. Truth is, I’m scared of hurting other people because of my problems but I’m also scared of being alone. I’m scared of what the next thing to go wrong in my life is going to be and I’m scared of when it will happen.
Truth is, I shouldn’t be scared. If my friends truly care about me then they will be there for me no matter what but if they don’t then, well, I’ve realised what I need to change in my life. I need to start trying to find the ups in my life.
I’m a bit of a “wallower” when it comes to problems. I tend to hold onto what has upset me for ages and ages. I find it hard to forget things that have hurt me. I wallow in my problems and that’s what tends to keep me down.
So my challenge to myself (and to you if this applies to you) is to find those “ups” in life. Find what it is that makes you happy and follow that. Never ever let yourself get don because of someone else because, trust me, that is one of the hardest things to get back out of. BE yourself and do whatever makes you happy no matter what anyone else thinks.
Lots of love and helpful hugs,